'How beautiful were those moments when i used to run around with my sibling, through trees...running after butterflies....trying to catch them...ahhh'...visions run across my mind like a wild fire...which no matter how much you try , just doesnt stop...'i used to scold her for her little mistakes..she used to scold me for being not a nice student in a 'student teacher game'...' memories , sometime they are more of a blessing than a curse...' me and my young sister...growing up in a small town....we moving to a metropolitan and me constantly bugging her on our way that ...'oh you know, we will be so great there...we will just get whatever we want'... we both grew up like ordinary kids.The only extra-ordinary thing were the circumstances surrounding us. Slowly everything was finding different ways. We got into different schools , different colleges... and yes different professions. The fabric of life is just brilliant. It expands in all directions yet doesnt break. Then those moments struck me which i enjoyed with my folks...such times just dont leave your head.Their annoyance at my absurdly stubborn attitude. Their love for my strong will power. Their pride on me being 'atleast' honest to them always.Us sitting in the sunshine and having long discussions about family , politics , sports - talk about anything but how it will not be around when anyone of us wont be. Me constantly reminding my mom , ' The day you dont scold me , i dont feel as if day has even started'. Thoughts after thoughts , like a train which passes you by no matter how much you try to ignore it. But which also makes you feel its presence. My constant pampering by my grand parents , uncles , aunts. When you are young , life looks so easy. World looks so simple. Everything looks honestly innocent. Till you realize later that it was the innocence in your existence more than anything else.
I kept falling , but with each passing moment i will remember one event or the other.
Remember my friends... for all the good and bad reason. How some will desert , some will uphold the flag of friendship. Vividly , i will know about the moments which took me to the depths of pessimism , distrust and painful acceptance of human selfishness. My consistent questionining , shall i follow the road ? But every time i will get hurt - i will realize one thing only. I shall be honest to myself atleast. And this one judgment will never let me change my course.' You can break me down , You can kill me - You cant fight my will'. This is what i will teach myself everyday. Lesson which life taught me.
As i was falling down , i will look at stars in the sky. Such majestic divinity existed around me and i never realized. Azure was illuminated unusally tonite. I would find them so well organized that i even managed to smile. But the fight between innerworld and outerworld is always a trivial one. With thougths going to how i found my closest people to be my greatest enemy as well. You save them from the moments , when even god mite not. But then they hit back at you the way , even devil mite not. You keep fighting and fighting for them beieving they will someday realize you. How often i have come to the understanding that its one thing people realizing they are making a mistake , its totally another for them to accept that they did make one.
I hit the road finally. My head banged first and then my back will kiss the ground , followed by my broken legs. Car , which had struck, managed to evade me and hit a pole on the road side. I could see people rushing towards me but for the first time i felt i had known what death is. I smiled at the them. Frenzy are humans , in a crowd even. They surrounded me talking about how to help me. I only managed a smile. In the last moments everything seems to slow down. You feel life as if it has come to a halt , but thats only true for you only. You want to believe that you lived a good enough life. As people were gathering to collect me , I made a last move when i heard someone saying ,
'poor guy must be going home to enjoy the start of a happy new year....'
and i replied,
'poor guy is going home...but to enjoy the start of a happy new life...'
I closed my eyes , never to know what happened next. who burried me where , with whom. On my grave , they placed a stone which had nothing written on it , probably there was no need either.
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